Millions of people throughout Europe and the rest of the world settled down to watch the alleged biggest none sporting event of any year: the Eurovision Song Contest. However, I feel that this sad, expensive spectacle that masquerades as a musical challenge for both musicians and lyricists does not, by any stretch of the imagination, do what it ‘says on the tin’. Firstly, Israel, Russia, Morocco, or Turkey, certainly the last time I checked an atlas, have not and have never been a part of Europe. Secondly, to enter a contest of any description, one may assume that there are rules in place to ensure equality without bias throughout the duration of the voting process. Before I continue, please don’t judge me too harshly as I too find myself glued to the nearest TV every year to have a laugh, if nothing else. However, to call it a song contest is surely a misrepresentation when many of the featured artists have already pre-released their entries many weeks in advance, akin to trial by media, something not tolerated in other spheres. Let’s face it; the Eurovision Song Contest has become a joke, even a boring joke. Perhaps the music industry in all its manifest forms should create a parallel event for the discerning music lover. People who genuinely want to hear all of the music, read all of the lyrics, and choose to vote for a composition solely on its merits, and not because of its commercial potential, or political affiliations: even sympathies with other like-minded nations. Ironically, it was in 1967 that the UK had a winner with a Bill Martin and, Phil Coulter composition, Puppet on a String, the same year that the misrepresentation act was brought into force. It states that ‘If you have been told something factual about goods that made you decide to buy them, but which turns out to be untrue, then they have been misrepresented to you’. Well, this is how I feel about Eurovision.